Query Brain

I have written 372 query drafts and I might just have one now. Isn't that EXCITING?? (Well the part about being done, not the part about how freaking long it took.)

But yeah, that's what I've been doing all day. And now I am suffering from Query Brain, which is a very serious condition. Basically, it makes you think in queries.

My boyfriend says he's going to take a walk, and I reply that I don't understand his motivation. Can he make it more clear?

My mom wants to go to lunch but doesn't know where, and I just don't think that's a compelling enough choice to stand out in the slush pile.

And then I drink coffee, and more coffee, and end up chatting with my crit partner Ina who helped me turn my life into a query. This is what we came up with:

Kat is an aspiring author who loves to tell stories. But when she meets Ina, a grumpy Norwegian girl who hates 1st person present tense stories, Kat's whole world is turned on its head. Armed with coffee, a dream, and a new Macbook, Kat sets out on a journey to write the best 1st person present tense YA novel ever, and prove to Ina that it can be done.

Kat knows she needs one more pass of revision before Ina will approve, and she desperately wants to print out the ms and see it on paper. She'll have to figure out the mysterious and crappy printer and somehow make it work or she'll be stuck reading her entire manuscript on a computer screen. Kat must also grapple with the fact that she's not as funny as she believes she is, or she'll be sorely disappointed when she realizes that she is the only one laughing.

If she fails, Ina's wrath will be unleashed in the form of never-before-heard similes and Kat will forever be forced to write in third person. Can Kat figure out the printer? Is it even possible? Or will she just have some Cheetos and attempt revising on the computer?

KAT'S LIFE is a work in progress, and therefore not yet complete. I believe KAT'S LIFE will appeal to one person, Kat's mom (and maybe not even her).

Thank you for your time and consideration.

I'm pretty sure the middle paragraph needs some work, and I'm just not sure the stakes are high enough.

*Sigh* Back to the drawing board, I suppose...



ETA 7:36 PM:
KAT'S LIFE spoiler alert-- after 2 hours of slamming her face against the wall, Kat successfully hooks up the printer and prints her entire ms! HUZZAH!

I FINISHED MY BOOK!

It's 12:34 AM on Monday, May 30th and I am OFFICIALLY DONE with my ms, BM.

Tomorrow (well, technically today) it goes off to my crit partners.

This book has spent the last seven months eating my soul. It is SO NICE to be DONE.

Ohmygosh, SO NICE.

Because my thoughts are a little kablooey right now, and I'm a little tired from dancing to Lady Gaga for the last ten minutes straight, I'll keep this brief.

I started BM on Nov 1 2010 for NaNoWriMo. I didn't win NaNoWriMo. I finished the first draft at about 26K-- 12K in the first act, 12K in the second act, and 2K of synopsis/notes for the third act.

I then spent Dec-May revising the crap out of said novel. (Seriously-- I tried to take out all the crappy parts.)

I'm not positive that it is any good, but right now I think it is the best thing I've written. I may just be delirious from mind melding with my computer, though.

Seven months. Thirty-eight chapters. 58,488 words.

I'm done.

And holy crap, I LOVE THIS STORY. So much.

Okay. I have to do... something now. I don't know what, but it might involve food or back flips or more dancing or oh jeeze, I don't even know. It won't be sleep though. Definitely not sleep.

I FINISHED MY BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!

<3

Write Your Effing Book

So there's this book on amazon called Go The F*** To Sleep. It's for adults but it's in the style of a children's book, and it's already an amazon bestseller even though it's not out for another month. I browsed through a couple pages, and it looks hilarious.

It inspired me to write a little poem for myself. It's called "Write Your Effing Book."

Ahem
*clears throat*


The coffee is brewing, the apartment is quiet
It's time to stop debating between Kindle and Nook
You never leave the house, you don't need an e-reader
Get off the internet and write your effing book

Stop browsing amazon and shut down your tweetdeck
Why are you refreshing youtube when you know there's nothing new?
For the tenth time, you don't need to check your email
That's bullshit. No one wrote you.

You probably won't listen,
But here's some advice you should take:
Get your butt in the chair, put your fingers on keys.
You haven't done shit. You don't deserve a break.

Your bookshelf doesn't need to be re-organized, trust me, it's fine.
Stop procrastinating by writing poetry on your blog.
You're not as clever as you think you are
And you're pretty crap at rhymes

You've got plenty of free time, water, coffee, snacks, and notes
Screw Tvtropes.org, it's never just a "quick look"
The only thing stopping you now is yourself
So suck it up, be an adult, and write your effing book.

Eyelashes and Macbooks

Have you guys ever heard of making wishes with eyelashes? When one of your eyelashes falls off, you put it on your fingertip, make a wish, then blow it away. Like a dandelion. Or birthday candles.

Last night, I made a wish on an eyelash. I wished for a new laptop.

About 12 hours later I had one.

But only because about 1 hour after making the wish my desktop computer exploded with death and viruses and mayhem. I lost everything-- pictures, music, videos, bookmarks. I didn't lose any writing, though (THANK GOD-- Back up your work, do it right now, do it again later).

I was computer-less. And I needed a computer. So I had to replace it.

I've been wanting a Mac for a while. I was going to get one last year for NaNoWriMo but I wanted to wait until I could just outright buy it instead of charge it. I planned to get it for myself for Christmas, but I didn't have the money then. I planned to get it for myself in Feb, for my birthday, but I didn't have the money then, either. Finally I planned to get one as celebration when I got an agent or a book deal or something fun like that.

So while I am happy that I have a new laptop, I'm not totally thrilled that I got it because my $3000 desktop exploded and I had to replace it.

And the morals of the story are:
Be careful what you wish for. Ha.
Eyelashes are powerful magic. Apparently.
PCs are stupid. Or at least that's what the guy at the Mac store told me.

Now I'm off to play with Photo Booth and Scrivener some more.

<3

Super Powers

Now this is just cool.

Poem For A Neglected Blog

My poor little blog
I wrote you a poem but
it's not good. Sorry.

(and i'm still busy revising so all i could manage was a haiku. sorry about that too.)


Fun Fact: Haiku spelled backward is Ukiah, the name of the city I live in.

More soon*
Kat






*more blog posts, not more crap poetry.

Halfway

I have reached the halfway point of my massive revision! Woo hoo! *celebrates*

I do hope the revision on the second half moves along a little faster. I think it will, because half of my total revision time was spent on the opening chapters. And I think I've finally gotten them down. In fact, I re-read the first chapter every week or so and the only change I've made to it in months was removing a comma. Which I later put back in again.

So yeah. The first half is done at just over 30K and I think the second half will be a little longer (I'm counting by chapters and acts, not word count). The finished ms will probably be close to 70K words. Which is nice, considering my NaNoWriMo draft closed out at 26K.

Because I outline, I thought revisions would be cake. But the revision cake is a lie. Thus far I have:

Added one major character and two minor characters.
Added four new chapters.
Completely changed the inciting incident.
Completely re-worked the fantastical aspects.

And I still have a lot to do. Not only do I have to completely revise every scene of the second half so it works with all the above changes, but I also have to add another four chapters and fix the entire last act, ten chapters of which are written like so:

"At a party or something with friends. What happened to the family? Still learning, getting better at managing. Ends with lots of potential."

[That is the actual last chapter in its entirety. I know. It's bad.]

I'm setting a tentative goal of finishing by the end of June. I think I'll be able to revise the second half faster than the first. Especially now that the groundwork is all in place.

But I still have lots and lots to do. It's a good thing I love this story so much. Sometimes it's hard to get myself to work on it, but usually I'm just excited about it. I want to finish it. I want to make it amazing. And I want to share it. (I really want to share it. I cannot wait to send the completed ms to my crit partners. Like, seriously cannot wait. Jade's already read 14 chapters.)

Anyway. Here's my bi-monthly blog letting y'all know I'm still alive and revising. What have you guys been up to?