So here is my excerpt, from my WiP Blood Ties...
* * * * * * * * * *
I nod and give him a small smile. Yes, I will dance with Tristan. I will allow myself this moment.
I stand and give in to the dance, to Tristan. He pulls me and spins me and twirls me as the music swells all around us. And it works. It calms me down. It's like I'm back home, in the classroom, desks pushed to the wall, while Tristan teaches me how to dance. Then the music slows and he stops twirling me so far away. He pulls me closer, so we're pressed together, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and my arms draping over his shoulders. And then he catches my eye, and the moment is just perfect.
Before I know what's happening, his lips are pressed against mine. I've never kissed a boy before, so I didn't know what to expect. But I didn't expect this. This floating feeling like the butterflies in my stomach have taken to the air and I'm flying up into the sky with them. But that's not what surprises me most. What surprises me most is how I respond. Because I don't hesitate to kiss him right back. Tangling my fingers in his hair. Crushing my lips to his. And pulling him closer; as close as he can get. Because if I let him go, if he lets me go, I'm not sure what would happen. Maybe I would float away.
I love the image that this scene conjured in my mind!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I love that she thinks she might float away. Too sweet.
ReplyDeleteSo sweet and romantic! I love first kisses. :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I love the floating away metaphor. It was very cute for a first kiss. It so made me smile.
ReplyDeletedido on the floating away bit. I was there on the dance floor with her.
ReplyDeleteAwww, so sweet. I loved it! It made me smile :)
ReplyDeleteThat last line is super. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteAgree with the floating. It captures a girls first kiss wonderfully! I also like how she talks about what she expected and what she didn't. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThat was so romantic! Way better then Lola's first kiss. Lol!
ReplyDeleteI loved the last line too.
I love first kisses. Very romantic!
ReplyDeleteLovely first kiss. So beautiful that she was afraid to let go. :)
ReplyDeletevery sweet - just what a first kiss ought to be.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome imagery. You definitely captured the feeling of a first kiss :)
ReplyDeleteloved this...just sweet and special. not letting go...nice touch. thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeletejeannie
Where Romance Meets Therapy
I loved this, especially her not wanting to let go for fear of floating away.
ReplyDeleteI love the way the tone shifts after "Then the music slows..."
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful picture in my mind. The dance...the kiss...the fear of floating away. :0)
ReplyDeleteGood job
Great insight to a first kiss.
ReplyDeleteOooo
ReplyDeleteThat last line is one of those fist-to-chest lines. Nice!
Great imagery! I love the last line. And I love that this starts with dancing, it feels very natural! Thanks for sharing this scene!
ReplyDeleteWow, I so know how she's feeling and the last line, I loved it. I really like those kinds of lines.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is so awesome! I LOVE this kiss--and her thoughts as well!
ReplyDeleteGreat use of first person, present tense--so hard to do well! Hats off to you!
Jenni James
Oooo, Kat! That was sigh-worthy, indeed! I love a first kiss and you rocked it, girl! Thanks so much for joining in the fun and making this party so awesome!
ReplyDeleteThis was super sweet and cute. Such a fun excerpt to read. I love that it was her first kiss.
ReplyDeleteVery sweet. Good job! I want to see more-lol.
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