Friday, June 19, 2009


The purpose of this post is threefold:

1. To contemplate the possibility of being bipolar.
2. To post my attempt at a query for critique and suggestions.
3. To beg/bargain/bribe willing victims, er, volunteers to see if they would be interested in beta reading for me.

Let us start at the beginning.

1. I love my novel. Today. Tomorrow I'll probably hate it, but right now I'm completely head over heels. I read through it and giggle like a little girl, I scroll to the next page quickly just to see what happens (um, yeah. As if I don't know what happens.) and I even fan myself with my hands whenever I read the intense sexy moments between my MCs. (Not too sexy, of course, because they can't physically touch- but that just makes it hotter!) But I really do like my story, and my characters and my world- and I hope you guys will too!

2. My attempt at a query letter. Mmhmm. First off, I just had it posted at TPQS where I received a couple good suggestions. So here is my slightly tweaked version, let me know what you think!

* * *

Dear Agent,

Diagnosed as terminal, teenager Gwendolyn Hayes prepared herself for death. What she never expected was Death to arrive in the form of model-turned-reaper Glory. When Gwen fights for a second chance at life, Glory promises one- in exchange for Gwen acting as a death angel. Gwen's task seems easy: touch and collect three souls, and life will be hers.

And perhaps her task would have been easy, if Gwen's former best friend and childhood crush James Connolly hadn't made an appearance on her 'to kill' list. Now touching James is the only thing standing between her and her second chance, but can she really take his life to jump start her own? The decision is only complicated when old feelings resurface, and Gwen and James realize they're falling in love. Their relationship is a dangerous one, accompanied by the knowledge that an accidental touch or even a single forbidden kiss will end life, start life, and separate them for good.

[Personalization & Bio]

Untouched is a YA contemporary fantasy complete at 75,000 words. The entire manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.

* * *

What do ya think? Good, bad, ugly? Comments, suggestions and exuberant praise welcome in the comments.

By the way, I got a lot of comments about genre: "It doesn't seem YA" "It should be paranormal romance, not fantasy" etc. And yes, I probably could pass it off as paranormal romance, or urban fantasy, or romantic fantasy (is that a genre? Or am I confusing genre with daydreaming about Orlando Bloom?) Either way, I'll leave it up to the readers to determine what genre this falls in, which brings us to...

3. BETAS! Does the above story sound like something you would be interested in reading? I'm looking for a couple readers who think they can suffer through 75K words and give me some good feedback. But I don't really know who, or how to oversee this. Preferably my betas would be familiar with the YA genre and interested with the premise. Oh and nice, too. I'm scared of mean people. I'm only looking for a couple, basically I just want someone else to read my work and let me know if it is coherent.

Also, I don't know what to ask of my betas. Detailed critiques following each chapter? A single sentence summary? (i.e. "This ms blows, I'd suggest sticking to Youtube videos, but you suck at that too" or "OMG I'm going to spend the weekend setting up a fan website for this book!")

And how long should I give my betas? A week? More? I'm thinking it will take about a day, because you know, they'll be so enthralled they'll forgo sleep, food and regular showers to finish reading, then excitedly type their praising response to me at 4 A.M. (And yes, I will be awake, staring at my empty in box and hitting the refresh key every two and half minutes.)

So, yes. This is a long blog. But let me know what's what. If you're interested in being a beta reader, leave me a comment with your email. I'm gonna do one last read through, then I'll mail them out Sunday or Monday depending on how many responses I get.

Ok, bye guys! Hope you all have a great weekend, and I hope to hear from you soon!

<3 Kat


  1. Are you part of AbsoluteWrite? If you join, you can log onto the forums and request Betas. It's an awesome forum for writers - YA and non.
    Also, I'm definitely up for Beta-ing. I've done a few YAs over at AW.

  2. Yes, get yourself to a critique group. The query sounds pretty good, but I'm no expert.

    If AbsoluteWrite doesn't suit, try - there's a good set of YA authors there who can help you by beta-reading and editing.

    P.S. That's not bipolar, that's just the usual emotional swing of writing as far as I can tell.

  3. The second paragraph of your query rocked, but the first was a tad weak for me. Maybe:

    "Terminally ill Gwendolyn Hayes would do anything for a second chance at life. What she never expected was for it to arrive in the form of model-turned-reaper Glory. In exchange for a new life, Gwen will act as a death angel. Touch and collect three souls, and life will be hers."

    Querying! So exciting!

  4. Sarah- No, I'm not a part of Absolute Write- but maybe I should check it out!

    Liana- I actually am already a member of Critique Circle, but I didn't even think to go there LOL

    Sarah- Ah, thank you! That is the hook I needed. And yes, I'm super excited, but also super nervous. I will be sending out my first queries hopefully by the end of this month!