Write Your Effing Book

So there's this book on amazon called Go The F*** To Sleep. It's for adults but it's in the style of a children's book, and it's already an amazon bestseller even though it's not out for another month. I browsed through a couple pages, and it looks hilarious.

It inspired me to write a little poem for myself. It's called "Write Your Effing Book."

Ahem
*clears throat*


The coffee is brewing, the apartment is quiet
It's time to stop debating between Kindle and Nook
You never leave the house, you don't need an e-reader
Get off the internet and write your effing book

Stop browsing amazon and shut down your tweetdeck
Why are you refreshing youtube when you know there's nothing new?
For the tenth time, you don't need to check your email
That's bullshit. No one wrote you.

You probably won't listen,
But here's some advice you should take:
Get your butt in the chair, put your fingers on keys.
You haven't done shit. You don't deserve a break.

Your bookshelf doesn't need to be re-organized, trust me, it's fine.
Stop procrastinating by writing poetry on your blog.
You're not as clever as you think you are
And you're pretty crap at rhymes

You've got plenty of free time, water, coffee, snacks, and notes
Screw Tvtropes.org, it's never just a "quick look"
The only thing stopping you now is yourself
So suck it up, be an adult, and write your effing book.